sometimes i just feel like i am expected to do everything... make the money, clean the house, take care of the child, cook the food, buy the food (to cook it), buy the clothes, change the litter box, walk the dog... not to mention... i still have to work out and lose the baby weight so that i am psysically fit to stay in the AF...
and to top it all off... i am bipolar and still trying to figure out my medications so that i can not feel so out of it all the time. one minute i am on top of the world, and the next i am spiralling into the pits of depression. only to be on top again ten minutes later. i am irritable and cranky because i dont know whats going on inside me and i want it fixed. i am tired because i cant ever fall asleep anymore, and when i do... my dreams are filled with horrible images, never anything happy. i just want to curl up in the corner and cry my eyes out right now and i really cannot tell you why, because even i don't know. my mind is a rollercoaster right now and i am just along for the ride!
with all that riding on me, i really feel like no one cares about what i want. its always about what they want from me. if i keep going like this without any help.. i will go compeletly bonkers and lock myself up in my room and eat ten gallons of ice cream while watching old heath ledger movies (sad) and muttering oncorrehently about the little green men coming to get me. it will be fun, and a well needed break from reality!
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