stolen moments

last night i rocked thomas for a good 45 minutes in his rocking chair in the nursery and he curled up against my chest in the fetal position and passed out. at that moment, i did not ever want to let him go. its so hard for me sometimes to understand a lot of things and to do things a "sane" person is able. i get irritated easily and my child suffers for it, because i get tired and then can't sleep. i dont have the energy to play with him that i would like. and i hate myself for getting frustrated at everything.

but those stolen moments with him make up for every bad day i have ever had or ever will have. i can't believe at how much he's already grown. its just so unfair. i want him to stay my baby forever.

then, as soon as i went to put him in the crib, he woke up and i grabbed him and his teddy, sat down in the chair again. i rocked my sweet baby boy, sang him a song or two and cried out of pure happiness as i gazed down on him.